everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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