I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
