When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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