it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
