Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize