All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
