Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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