he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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