conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
