party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
