I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
