This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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