Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
