5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Houston, we have a blender
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
