p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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