Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
