I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
