We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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