Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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