I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
