I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
