This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Your cock deserves a montage
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
