when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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