Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
