She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just had sex on a roof
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
