The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
