I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize