I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
