just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We were destined to go to rehab together
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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