we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
