Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
