I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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