Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
