Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
