fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
