we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize