Dual....:-)
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
