I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
dude. I can hear the air.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
