Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My vagina just recognized that song.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
