I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
