you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
