went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
