we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
its not stalking. its research.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
