you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
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