i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
