She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
