I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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