I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
