guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
