shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
