thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
