I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
