You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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