i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The beers last night were like the tears from god
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
