a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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