I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
