This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
