your thong is hanging out like whoa
She's JV to your varsity
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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